I was seated at a fine dining restaurant in Toronto with a rainbow senior friend—someone I admire deeply, not only for their wisdom and wit but also for their activism in the city’s queer community.

The waiter arrived, polished and smiling, ready to take our order. Turning to my friend, he asked, “Madam, what can I get for you?”

There was a pause—quiet but dense with meaning. My friend sat still for a moment, then looked up with calm clarity and said, “Can you tell, from my appearance, whether I’m a man or a woman?”

The waiter faltered. His professionalism buckled under the question’s plain truth. “No,” he admitted, softly. “I can’t.”

Once he had hurried off with an apology that was clearly sincere but insufficient. I could see my friend still carried the weight of the exchange, their shoulders slightly tense, their gaze lowered.

I leaned over and tried to soothe the situation. “Maybe the staff weren’t given any gender sensitivity training,” I said. “It’s not necessarily his fault.” I was trying to be generous—to the waiter, to the moment, to the many unknowns in between.

Still, the incident lingered.

It brought to mind Marriott Hotels—a corporate sponsor of Pride Toronto’s annual pride parade, a consistent supporter even as many American companies have quietly retreated from their EDI commitments amid growing political backlash.

I find myself wondering how their front desk clerks would greet my friend. Would they manage to avoid the binary assumptions that so often frame customer service in the hospitality industry? I’d like to think they would. In fact, I suspect they might do better than most.

Earlier this year, when questions arose internally about whether Marriott should scale back its DEI policies, CEO Anthony Capuano reportedly stood firm. As USA Today recounted in a recent piece, Capuano addressed his employees directly: “The winds blow, but there are some fundamental truths for those 98 years. We welcome all to our hotels, and we create opportunities for all, and fundamentally, those will never change.”

Within twenty-four hours, he received over 40,000 emails—notes of thanks, support, and pride from staff across the company.